I posted THIS a year ago. It’s about the Good and Bad Unsolicited Advice I’ve received while pregnant. I am looking back at the comments on my FB post, as well as the blog post itself. Here are some things I did and did not do the past year.

1. Maternity Clothes Shopping – I bought a lot, and many of them I still wear until now. That’s because I bought mostly maternity-nursing wear. I will give the same advice to preggy moms. Shop til you drop!
2. Breastfeeding – I will blog about my experience but for now, I can say that this is the best decision I’ve made for myself and my girls. I will continue to breastfeed for as long as there is a drop of milk coming out of my boobs, and for as long as my girls will ask for it. No judgement for moms who choose to formula feed or mix feed, but please don’t judge me, too, for deciding to extend my breastfeeding. I do breastfeed in public, and so far, I’ve never been reprimanded for doing so. But I am prepared to put up a fight if somebody dares to mess with me. Ha!

3. On the baby’s genders – Fortunately, I didn’t get any more comments on my baby’s gender (you know, how it would have been better if we had a boy and a girl), perhaps because they saw how adorable our girls are. Haha.

4. On taking time off from work – I did extend my leave upon the recommendation of our pedia because our babies were (and still are) severely underweight and we needed to extend our kangaroo care (skin to skin). Thankfully, I have very supportive bosses and colleagues. But I still decided to go back to work and keep working. As I’ve said, thousands of moms juggle corporate and home life. We do what we believe is best for our families and for now, that’s what we believe is best for us.

5. On how I look – Hmm. I mentioned that I got so much more compliments on my looks while I was pregnant than before I got pregnant. Well, after I gave birth, the compliments stopped coming. Hahaha!!! Time to get back in shape!

6. On co-sleeping – In my blog post, I said we will not co-sleep. Guess what. We did co-sleep. We still do! It was prompted by our pedia’s recommendation to do skin to skin at least 16 hours a day. That means the babies need to be unclothed on my bare chest for most of the day and night. But you know what? It’s the best decision ever. It didn’t just help them gain weight better, it also helped us sleep better. So convenient! I was afraid of SIDS and reached out to our breastfeeding group often and was told over and over again that breastfeeding actually reduces the risk of SIDS. And there are ways to safely co-sleep. So there.

Other comments I got:
I will receive contradicting advice. Trust my instint. – Yup! At the end of the day, we still have to decide what works best for us. Many times, I have to use my instinct.

On putting saliva on the babies – Still a no-no. Yuck! Thankfully, I’ve never encountered anyone who would just put laway on the babies. Otherwise, I will release the Kraken. Oh yes, it’s in here, lurking, waiting on the unfortunate soul who will dare spread germs on my babies.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help – Yup, I’ve asked, and I’ve received. Thank you to everyone who offered help, not just the early days, but until now.

Make sure they are wanted and loved. – Yes, thank you for this advice. It’s easier to do this now that they are little. Remind me again when they are teenagers. LOL!

Don’t take a bath for a month. LOL!!! So no one really gave me this advice but I know Chinese moms do it. I can’t. I took a bath less than 24 hours after giving birth – thanks to a nursing aid who shampooed my hair and gave me a sponge bath on the hospital bed. The next day, she gave me a shower in the bathroom. Best feeling ever!

No two babies are the same. – YES! Amaris and Alisa can’t be any more different. They are unique individuals and I love their differences.

No judging. – Yes, we are unique individuals with unique children, so our parenting styles are unique, too. Let us respect our differences.

Written by Alby Laran

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